Because of the Living

Because I may sit among you I light my soul for a look in your eye,
Because I may distinguish your expression from a thousand others I climb high out of the earth to risk a fall,
Because your laugh mixes with the squeals found in nature I furrow the earth of my heart and I take you in as my own.
Because the dirt may stick to your skin, blemish your holiness, exude your confusion, because I can feel your hand squirm in mine or grab me in need or release me with exactitude I bare my face, my body and I take relish in the sound of my voice echoing in the field,
Because your soft thighs thrust with such vitality and lust I shave my head to feel the air closer to my innards,
Because the sound of your song fills my soul with such gentle murmurs and vibrates in my memory whenever I wish, I throw myself to the bluest sea and I swim till exhaustion to the glorious shore,
Because your sweat mixes with sin and the saintly, because you speak of love and passionate revenge, I colour my mind with unimaginable pride and fear and luxurious wealth of self,
Because you expel breath against my neck and leave footprints in the mud I raise my arms to the sky and I thrash relentlessly in the beauty of the unimpinged reach of humanity.

Choose

I am not a mindless automaton 
I thank god, I thank fuck,
Fuck that is the beginning of all things.
I am not a mindless automaton
and my mind wanders
when I smell her perfume
drifting across the room
or dancing around my neck. 
The breeze releases me from silence
and I remember
the natural form of my shoulders
my hips
and my eyes relax for humanity.
I stop and fall down
and instead of getting up
I might lay for a while
until I feel the earth under my nails
and the day has changed colour
and the people have eaten a meal
and some god has been thanked
and some innocent has been educated
and some unity has been made
and I have been filled with breath.
I am not a mindless automaton
and I desire a new taste in my mouth
and a texture that will repudiate my senses.
Though I have thorns in my side and citrus
in my wounds
I seek no revenge,
I balance with their lack of remorse
and we fill the space where a relationship might be
with interest in other things.
I am no mindless automaton
and in the lane I notice
the broken bottles
and the ants scurrying home
and one lonely glove
and I notice a puddle of piss
that surely belongs to the man shuffling ahead of me
with the torn green plastic jacket.
I am no mindless automaton
and I can pause where ever I choose.

after it all

First realizations of lust creeping along the sofa
with you cracking the whip
Laughs begin to bubble before they can be sure they are amused
A coy radiance chances to awaken the senses
The moment plays host to a wave of alteration
and finally our eyes meet with sharpened intent
glazed over inhibition and one imagination


At once I am torn
I long to stay at this inception and reconcile with uncertainty
Yet I wish this intoxicated haze would lift
so I could see us through a clear lens
Back down the rabbit hole
and I'm happy just to lay with you
But we don't
And in your grasp I find again my humanity
and everything is stripped away
In this simplicity there is nothing to speak
and I hold your gaze long and delicately


I leave before the morning 
and one night remains unsoiled by too much thought
Should we meet again
I know I'll have only the moment
and my senses
to rely on

So long, my friend

I deleted you from my phonebook
I'll not make you squirm anymore
While you enhanced my fantasy
I see now I've been playing out the same story
for weeks
I merely crave inception and with you
the dawn was always bright red
But this ground hog day must find a close
because its wearing me down
Your imaginary lips are becoming coarse
I might become bitter but I prefer to simply change
Change the angle of my view
the target of my tongue
I might say we missed out
but I'll not hold you over a barrel
My mind is fleeting and my hands
relinquish quickly a squirming prize
I kiss the air and and I gesture 'so long'

Joyful Neglect

I wake and peel my face off the pillow i've been clutching all night, it's soggy, my lips grimy.

I roll out of bed and walk right into the doorframe, the bruise on my arm throbs, my lips curl to a secret smile.
I get into the shower and I start the water, I wash; after scrubbing my face I reach for the towel that I have neglected to sling over the shower door. I turn off the water and run naked through the house, bathroom to utility room looking for a towel. Cold droplets of water run off my body and onto the carpet. I poke my toes into the wet patches.
Breakfast bent over the laptop checking messages and forgetting to eat.
On the train and pulling out my ipod to realize the earphones are still in the laptop, instead I close my eyes and try to pick up some dreams where I left them.
Walking through crowds, immersing my senses in the pattering foot steps around me and in the high sky, I don't hear a friend shout my name.
Work is a breeze, living inside my head, text text text, wait wait wait.
Then golden pints of beer swilled down quickly, cigarettes and flashes of eyes and skirts, and wandering thoughts, if not hands, and cranking music grinding at my head my face my back my chest my hands my dick my legs my feet then an eager conversation disregarding convention of self preservation. confession, exaltation.
A stolen moment, me and the night, my cigarette burns all the way down without my taking a single draw.
Caught short with no paper in the toilet, no filters in my tobacco packet, dropping mayonnaise on my shirt at work along with flour off my Greggs roll, absent mindedly peeing down my jeans at the urinal then walking around for hours, up and down the style mile, with my fly open, handing over a twenty instead of a tenner and walking away without my change, sending misguided text messages at 3 in the morning or even 2 in the afternoon, misreading my train times and turning up 5 minutes late,waking up gripping my jaw, 


For all of these things that I joyfully neglect, I have you to blame.

A Wish

What if I could offer you absolute freedom?
What if you wouldn't be judged for your inner most thoughts?
Would you tell me something you've never told me before?
Would you allow yourself the journey of a forbidden thought?


In days past I've thought your eyes were trying to tell me something,
I've thought about a hundred different statements your might want to declare,
The best ones are to do with me.


If at any moment you could be in touch with your most honest heart
Would I see you spread your arms and transcend yourself?


Sitting on a chair, head in hands
Smiling a familiar smile, looking into a brick wall, a mirror.


A millions hearts all following their own desires causing chaos far and wide,
Out of this chaos might we extract some order?
I hear the chirp of quiet satisfaction
I hear the roar of final deliverance.


Claim freedom from the society which defines you,
Freedom for yourself excluding all others.
Can you be specific with your own philosophy?
Can you offer yourself the freedom to change the book you read from?


Your eyes are beautiful, let them run deep.

Note

Flat to flat.
Door to door.
Thoroughfare through thoroughfare.
We travel the padded satin and the beautiful retched cliffs.
I will travel far, I will escape the well trodden road.
This cape of knowledge that I cherish will hide me from purveyors of evil.
I have faith.
Faith in the eyes of another,
Your eyes reflect my face and I know now your eyes are the same as mine.
For you cannot know more than the wind,
Or feel deeper than the sea.
In our shared ignorance of the inspiration for nature
And our awe of the vast expanse
We will find enrichment.
We will find ourselves.
We will find each other.
We will find the ability to feel and share joy.

To Work

Tartan blankets filling my gaze
misshapen pillows from last nights dreams
nature defeating the will.
soon to scramble for the shower again
hair can wait another day
same jeans as yesterday again.
and on the train to work
To work when I could be studying the world map and figuring out which airport to fly to
when i could be poaching eggs and layering on the salmon
when i could be learning from Rimbaud how to unleash youth with decisive power
when i could be searching myself and my work with intentions of distillation
when i could be lying in the snow to find out how long one can stand numbness
when i could be watching pictures, seeing fragments merge into momentary perfection for the senses
when i could be staring into their faces
when i could be getting myself into dirty trouble
when i could be against a wall sniffing at regret
when i could be eating hungrily at the flesh of consolation
when i could be driving my forehead into the air with the idea that at speed i might surprise natural motion and knock myself out with approving joy
when i could be under water kicking for life and for affirmation
when i could be sitting with my head in a lap making a memory into god
when i could be winning at the most unlikely game of cards
when i could be cursing those who have wronged me with absolute conviction
when i could be philosophizing with a stranger in a dark corner with wine stained lips and hips
when i could be running across the Ponte Vecchio, through the Uffizi with arms out stretched
when i could be exuding an idea of style with intention to unnerve
when i could be telling my favorite joke to group that fail to see the laugh
when i could be hurting so much i am reminded of my physicality in the world
when i could be thrashing and kissing and smoking
when i could be failing
when i could be sitting at a wooden bar in the south of ireland sitting next to an estranged uncle who assuredly speaks english
when i could be listening to the rain diffusing on the window
when i could be

A Prayer

I was standing on the rocks. 
Away from the shore and the lapping tide.
Away from the foaming waves, the torrential dance.
Away from the pebbles, the shells,
Away from the collected crap of aluminum cans and worn but still branded plastic packets.
I was standing by the rocks, high above the sea.
Under the same sky that contorted before my eyes,
Under the sky that stretched out before me and was pink at the end.
Under the sky that had seen infinite mornings but always with a new face.
Under the sky, the most beautiful arc of colour and deliberate undertaking.
I remained there among the rocks attempting to pin point the horizon
The space was vast and foreboding and the world dark around the edges.
Out of the dark came a great man.
His body engaged, his mind resolute.
His muscled arms hauled a huge red iron pillar, at least twenty or thirty meters in length.
On its side, as it made its laborious journey, the pillar seemed to split the sky from the sea,
The sky now was penetrable, I watched as the source of my anxiety was reframed,
Was mocked or hailed?
Was challenged or paid homage?
Was courted or ignored?
The sun creeping through gaps in the clouds, reflecting off the pillar making it into a beacon
A manmade beacon juxtaposed with all of natures beauty and omnipotence.
When the man arrived at the center of the scene he stopped
He noticed the varying colours of blue and grey and green in the water
He noticed the plastic packets floating in the foam
He noticed the houses in the distance which were sprinkled along the shore
He noticed the shells and pebbles at his feet
He noticed me now sitting on the rocks behind him
He noticed the sound of the breeze as it hurried through his hair, his fingers
He noticed the slowing of his heart after his exertions
He noticed his mind nagging him to complete his task.
And the man once again picked up the vast pillar, this time holding it vertically.
He raised it high above his head.
My heart raced, would the man dishonor this scene?
With one mighty movement he drove the pillar deep into the ground
It would never move again.
He stood back and took in the pillar in the landscape, standing alone for the first time.
He was satisfied with his prayer for humanity.
He moved off with strength and nobility, leaving the scene the way he had entered it.
Again I was alone and I found that I was no longer by the rocks
I was walking, running down toward the sea, toward the pillar.
I arrived at the pillar, standing at the base and looked up
I saw the sky and it seemed closer to me now.
I sat on the ground and leant against the pillar and looked out,
I saw the sea and it seemed closer to me now.
I stood with my back against the pillar and I stretched out my arms
I felt the air supporting me,
I felt the sand beneath me supporting me
I felt the sound of the sea supporting me
I felt the movement of the clouds supporting me.
I stood on the beach and I felt complimented by the stature and integrity of the elements.
I felt my soul reflect the sea and the sky.
I felt I too could be vast.
I felt I too could be beautiful.
I left I too could be powerful.
I felt I too could be content.
I felt I too could be empowered by the cycle of life.

Rise Up

He must be trapped, strapped to his bed
I know he's dyin' to be dancin',
He is the same Empress we all once knew
Movin' into the beat by osmosis.
Tasty cheek tappin' on my table,
Everything is on the line now
Done it did it do it.