Saturday, 20 February 2010

Joyful Neglect

I wake and peel my face off the pillow i've been clutching all night, it's soggy, my lips grimy.
I roll out of bed and walk right into the doorframe, the bruise on my arm throbs, my lips curl to a secret smile.
I get into the shower and I start the water, I wash; after scrubbing my face I reach for the towel that I have neglected to sling over the shower door. I turn off the water and run naked through the house, bathroom to utility room looking for a towel. Cold droplets of water run off my body and onto the carpet. I poke my toes into the wet patches.
Breakfast bent over the laptop checking messages and forgetting to eat.
On the train and pulling out my ipod to realize the earphones are still in the laptop, instead I close my eyes and try to pick up some dreams where I left them.
Walking through crowds, immersing my senses in the pattering foot steps around me and in the high sky, I don't hear a friend shout my name.
Work is a breeze, living inside my head, text text text, wait wait wait.
Then golden pints of beer swilled down quickly, cigarettes and flashes of eyes and skirts, and wandering thoughts, if not hands, and cranking music grinding at my head my face my back my chest my hands my dick my legs my feet then an eager conversation disregarding convention of self preservation. confession, exaltation.
A stolen moment, me and the night, my cigarette burns all the way down without my taking a single draw.
Caught short with no paper in the toilet, no filters in my tobacco packet, dropping mayonnaise on my shirt at work along with flour off my Greggs roll, absent mindedly peeing down my jeans at the urinal then walking around for hours, up and down the style mile, with my fly open, handing over a twenty instead of a tenner and walking away without my change, sending misguided text messages at 3 in the morning or even 2 in the afternoon, misreading my train times and turning up 5 minutes late,waking up gripping my jaw, 

For all of these things that I joyfully neglect, I have you to blame.