Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Return Trip

The boat crossing took me by surprise, it should not have been so long.
Now long off the boat and this dizzy sensation has not left me yet.
I took a long pause at the shore, as long as I could without becoming pretentious or more lonely.
I dallied in the shallow sea to see if my senses might be rekindled, I longed that gloom might be battered from my cranium by the beating sun.
Long did I wait.
During this time I was offered bites of ideas:
For the first time in by reduced memory a smile curled my lips as I felt the sand pinch and tickle my toes.
This was the first layer.
The gentle waves pushed me back and forth, wetting my calves my thighs. I shifted my weight without thought,
A success to find that I could be part of something again.
I tried to imagine myself not human but in sync with the air the waves and constant rays of the sun.
I took refuge in the never defeated sea,
I tried to convince myself that I could fight forever the same battle, the sea and the sun at my side.
And so the sea became the second layer.
I dared to raise my arms, still not wanting to be seen by others on the beach.
I indulged myself that the air might raise my arms and my heart,
I found myself wrapped in white and blue and pink whisps of wind,
Streams, which like me, dallied here and there from moment to moment,
Convalescing or exploring.
The wind is layer three.
As I tried to become entwined with the elements I felt great surges of emotion,
Happiness. Laughter almost broke my sealed lips,
Several attempts but never did a sound escape me to melt my ears.
And I shant forget the great foreboding that chained me to the wet sandy shore.
I had managed to forget the others on the shore, such was my desire for the wind and the sea and the sun.
I could forget everyone.
More lashes scored my eyes as I looked into the sun.
I was trying to escape. I whispered secrets to the sea, I begged the wind to enter my ears.
I jumped disturbing the natural rhythm of the sea and I heard a shout on the shore.
I recalculated my entry into enlightenment and I opened my mouth to the sun
That I might drink it,
That it might make me drunk.
I thought my pours might open and I might feel a sudden rush as I was invoked by the elements.
I dashed my self and sacrificed thought in order to be without emotion.
I heard another shout on the shore.
I felt the sun take its fingers from my temples,
The sand seemed to push my feet closer to the shore.
I thought I might crash onto the sand
A spluttering reject of the sea.
But I did not fall.
More voices brushed my back as my experience became less intense.
The sun, the forth layer, gave me one last push down to earth
Before resettling itself in the heavens.
I could now behold all four layers as if they were framed and on a wall,
The sand the water the wind and the sun were again distanced from me.
As another voice could be heard behind me I turned back to my life on the shore,
I had been offered reassurance.
My feet began to walk me back to my deckchair.