I thought...

I was walking near the river, the light was peaking down through the leaves of the trees, it was still apart from cracking sticks underfoot. You walked by smoking a cigarette, there were a few people with you, I thought that maybe you noticed me.

        I saw you again, you were standing in front of me in the queue at the canteen and a man at the front of the queue didn't speak much English and the cashier couldn't understand if he wanted the curry or the fish, I was watching you touching every screw in the counter with the same finger and the man kept repeating "yes yes yes", you looked around I thought we exchanged a glance, that we both thought the man was funny. I felt alive after and proud.

        You were laughing so loud in a corridor and I knew it was you, I rounded the corner, yea I was already smiling, you were on the phone and you looked so happy, I laughed, like I shared your moment you know, I thought you knew and that you were pleased.

        

It's so good to see you, I haven't seen you in, a long time, well, how are you? Thanks I feel happy, I feel excited like something might happen soon. Isn't it funny when you feel like that? It's like a secret that I can never keep.

       You were sitting across from me on the subway, you had huge designer glasses on I couldn't see your eyes, I had a hat on I pulled it down tight over my eyes, I closed my eyes and exposed my face again, I thought I'd just let you watch me, I thought that would be less awkward, I hate sitting across from someone you know, like if you walk down a long hall approaching someone you know and you have to make awkward faces and look away at intervals so its not like your staring, I thought you probably would feel the same way. You got off the subway at the stop before me and you brushed my leg as you passed.

       You were crying. I saw you through the window at the coffee shop in the village. I Knew you needed a friend to talk to, someone who knew you well. I sat on a bench outside and I wished that it was me, I imagined your first laugh after the tears, you know the one thats always most rewarding to give someone. You passed me as you left the coffee shop and I carried on with my day and hoped you were alright.

       You finished top in the class and I was second, we stood next to each other in the class photo, you grabbed my hand and you told me 'congratulations' and I said it back to you. I asked you if you were going to the dance, I thought you smiled a lot at me, I thought you might like to dance with me at the dance, you smiled so much.

Yea I'm having loads of fun, everyone looks great. I cant believe its over.

You were a little drunk and so was I. And we danced to one song, it was a hip hop song and I don't really know how to dance to hip hop, so I made a joke and you laughed and the song finished and you went to the bathroom and you left a while later. I thought maybe I'd see you again soon.